Interpersonal conflict-"Judas?"

The following is a hypothetical story that I was written in the first person narration.

Before entering the Junior College, I knew a pretty girl and fell in love with her. I did believe that she was an essential part of my life. However, there was a secret that I had never told her and never planned to tell her. That was my addiction to alcohol. Sometimes, I even believed that alcohol was as importance as my girlfriend. I did not want to lose either of them. Thus, I enjoined my roommates sincerely to secrecy. However, when I entered the Junior College, heavy academic workload and tight schedule made me feel so stressful that I drunk much to relieve my pressure. As I drunk harder and harder, the trouble became more and more serious.

The conflict arose when my girlfriend received a call from my roommates informing her that they were extremely worried about my well-being in the hostel, because I had drunk too much every day. My girlfriend immediately called me and confronted me about this issue. She asked me what was going on and whether the statement was true. I suddenly realized that it might be my roommates who betrayed me. I replied to my girlfriend in straight denial. After I spoke with her, her tones told me that she did not believe me. She implied that she should not choose a drunkard as her life partner. I was livid, and hung up the phone up on her.

Immediately after talking with my girlfriend, I called my roommates to find out the reason for this. My roommates explained to me that they had been watching me use more and more alcohol, and they said they saw a severe change in my attitude. They wished some sentences from my girlfriend might change my life style. Once again I was infuriated, and hung up on my roommates.

I felt betrayed, how my roommates went parties with me, then turned around and told my girlfriend that I had an alcohol addiction. Since two days, I had avoided all phone calls from my roommates. Finally on the third day, I met my roommates in the meeting room. My roommates explained to me that they had spoken with girlfriend again. I did not pay attention to their explanation and blamed them as Judas. In the next semester, I moved to another hostel and never connected with my roommates since then.

Actually, in my view, communication behaviors are essential in solving interpersonal conflict. In such a situation, since I felt betrayed by some of my best friends, my behaviors were extremely aggressive. There is no denying that being offensive is never a good way for problem solving. So, could you figure out some of my aggressive behaviors during this interpersonal conflict between me and my roommates?

Effective Communication Skills-Week 2

Failure does not mean you are a failure.

It does mean you have not succeeded yet.

-----------------------------------------------My interview experience for Yale University

Last semester, I applied an exchange program to Yale university to experience a new life style in the United States. I really made an effort in preparing my interviews including the history of Yale University and their education format. However, I failed seriously in the second round of interview. The main reason for my failure, in my view, was that I completely ignored the feelings of the interviewer. The differences in culture was a barrier between the western professors and me. However, I did not realize the barrier at that time and never tried to remove it during the interview. One of the interviewer, who might be from Yale University, always gave me a puzzled look while I was talking about my philosophy. When I saw his confused facial expression, I talked more about the traditional Chinese thinking styles and belief systems to give him a well rounded answer. There is no doubt that these additional words completely produced the opposite effects. As a result, my application to Yale University was rejected directly.

Well, failure does not mean that I should give up; however, it means that I should try harder. Actually, failure was really a positive experience which made me realize the importance of communication skills. That is the main motivation for me to take this module (ES2007). Some concepts and skills introduced in this module such as communication models and channels, communication across cultures will be beneficial for my future study and work. As a year two student majoring in quantitative finance, I am certain there will be many interview opportunities in the future. Hopefully, I will not be a loser next time.

Happy lunar new years to all readers.